Betrayal Trauma in Australia: How to Find Support
Recently, a brief but very jarring moment caught on the Coldplay kiss cam went viral and with it came a tidal wave of opinions, jokes, and speculation about infidelity and betrayal. While so many were quick to comment, assume and judge… for many watching, it likely struck a deeper chord. If betrayal is going to have a moment in the spotlight, I hope it’s one that brings recognition: that this kind of rupture isn’t entertainment - it’s a traumatic event. One that can significant destabilise and turn upside down the lives of partners, families, and the very foundations we rely on for safety. And trauma needs more than headlines or hashtags. It needs understanding. It needs support.
So you might be wondering… what is Betrayal Trauma?
Betrayal trauma can arise when someone (or even a system) you rely on for safety (emotionally, physically, or financially) violates that trust through deception, infidelity, secret-keeping, or prolonged dishonesty.
The impact can extend far beyond the moment of discovery. For many women, it’s not just the relationship that is affected - it’s the nervous system, the ability to rest or parent, the sense of identity, and the capacity to make decisions, set boundaries, or feel emotionally safe.
Finding professional support
There is growing recognition of betrayal trauma here in Australia but even with increasing awareness, finding the right kind of support can still feel overwhelming. Especially when you're in survival mode, unsure who to trust, or trying to make sense of what just happened.
Support that is steady, respectful, and grounded in evidence can help create a foothold when everything feels uncertain. For some women, this begins with practical care: stabilising the nervous system, finding daily rhythms, and slowly reconnecting with their sense of self and safety.
Why It Can Be Hard to Reach Out
Even when you know you need support, reaching out can feel complicated. You might worry that you'll be judged or misunderstood. That someone will minimise what you’ve been through, or tell you what you should do. You may be afraid of falling apart if you start to talk about it or that you’ll be pushed into decisions before you’re ready. These hesitations are really valid. They’re part of protecting yourself when trust has already been broken. That’s why finding support that allows you to set the pace, stay grounded, and feel emotionally safe is so important. The right support doesn’t rush you. It meets you where you are.
Questions to consider asking when seeking support
Whether you’re looking for counselling, therapy, or recovery-focused guidance, here are some questions to ask that may help you reflect on whether a support service or individual feels like the right fit:
Do you have experience working with betrayal trauma, infidelity/cheating or relational trauma?
How do you help people feel safe in the early stages?
What is your approach if someone is overwhelmed or shuts down in session?
Do you help clients work on practical, everyday issues (like parenting, sleep, work)?
Do you take a position on whether someone should stay or leave the relationship?
What does collaboration look like in your work?
Are you familiar with models like APSATS or other partner-sensitive frameworks?
You might not feel fully at ease right away when reading about betrayal (it can definitely feel confronting and triggering) but does something in the information you are reading help you exhale, even slightly? Do you feel the information is relatable? Is there a tone of care, respect, and steadiness? Does it feel like a space where you wouldn’t need to perform or explain everything at once, and where your experience would be met without pressure or judgement?
If you’re seeking trauma-informed support after betrayal, you can learn more about how I work here, or explore my APSATS listing here to understand how this model of care is designed to support partners facing complex relational trauma.